Broken (Brody Brothers Book 4) Read online

  “I wouldn’t say give up, exactly. In the end, I prefer to look at it as a mutual surrender of both parties to each other.”

  Great. Now he was blowing pure smoke. Just what she didn’t need. “I don’t know where the hell you get that whole mutual part. There is no mutual surrender when it comes Des and me. He’s the one with all the power, because he’s the one who took my damn spark plug.” She yelled the final word Des’s way, but neither he nor Killian bothered to look her way.

  Assholes.

  For some reason, Fin’s serious expression lifted with a chuckle. “Trust me, you’re the one who’s got all the power right now, Win. I’m just asking you to hold off on wielding it until all our asses are safely back home. Think you can do that?”

  “By staying put?”

  “By staying put. Your word of honor.”

  Unable to stop herself, she glanced back at her now-useless car, longing to get behind the wheel and leave all this crazy-making turmoil behind. But that wasn’t possible, and no matter how infuriated she was with Des, she didn’t want to put him or any of his brothers in peril.

  A few hours, she consoled herself, trying to calm her mind that was still trying—and failing—to figure a way out. She could sit tight for a few more hours. It wasn’t like anything could change the reality of the situation. Whether she stayed there or managed to go somewhere else, Des, the man she’d been stupid enough to fall in love with, would still be the man that had gone after her like a vulnerable-woman-seeking missile to get to Smiley Lake.

  How had she gotten herself into this hopeless mess?

  I’m pretty damn proud of myself for finding the backbone to grab for what I wanted. And what I wanted was to spend time with you.

  God, she was the stupidest woman in the world.

  “Winnie?”

  “You have my word,” she gritted out, still furious that Des had disabled her car, but the rest of her fire abruptly snuffed out. In the end, she only had herself to blame for forgetting that from the start, Des had never lied to her. Not really. She was the one who had lied to herself. “I promise I won’t leave Green Rock Ranch until Des gets back.”

  “Not good enough,” came the flat reply. “Green Rock is bigger than Rhode Island, so saying you won’t leave Green Rock Ranch doesn’t mean dick to me. I need your word that you’re going to stay at the main house and out of trouble until Des gets back.”

  “I’ll stay at the main house, or visiting Opal and her babies, until Des gets back.”

  “And nowhere else?”

  “Man, you’re a real trusting soul, aren’t you?” She gave him a look designed to wither him into nothing, then wanted to scream when that didn’t happen. “Fine. And nowhere else.”

  “Great. Lilah’s in the same mood as you, by the way, because I’m not letting her help in the roundup,” he added on a sigh, glancing back at the house with an expression that seemed almost mournful. “Swear to Christ, we’re not trying to be the bad guys here, Win. We just need the people we love to be in a safe place while we turn ourselves inside out trying to make sure our world holds together. I hope you can understand that.”

  Her throat closed up on the gush of words that wanted to spew forth, so that all she could do was nod mutely before walking toward the Bachelor Pad stud barn. Of course she understood that was how Fin saw it. He and his wife loved each other. Lilah wanted to pitch in and carry some of her man’s burden, and Fin wanted the woman he loved to be safe. That was the emotion that drove their actions—love.

  And that was the difference.

  Fin assumed Des loved her.

  Joke was on the both of them, apparently.

  The Bachelor Pad was much more daunting on her own than when she was with Des, but once Winnie found her way to the hub-like anteroom, she was able to navigate her way to the correct hall that led to Opal and her puppies.

  “You’re going to think I’m an awful human,” she murmured to Opal after slipping through the heavy stable door and approaching the dog that watched her with those bright, mismatched eyes. “I still didn’t bring you any treats, I’m afraid. How about a belly rub instead?”

  For an answer, Opal’s tail went into overdrive. She left her puppies to meet Winnie halfway, clearly eager for all the attention she could soak up.

  “Awww, you’re such a sweetheart. I wish I could take you home with me.” Then, when she heard her words come back to her, she sighed and slid down the nearest wall until she was sitting on the concrete floor. “Then again, I’m not sure where home is. Or what it’s supposed to be.”

  Opal burrowed her head into her chest, then flopped down, half on and half off her.

  “Obviously you don’t have the same problem with making yourself at home wherever you are.” A half-laugh escaped her as she petted the dog, glad to note that while still on the skinny side, Opal didn’t seem to have that fragile feel to her anymore. “Maybe I should take a page out of your book and just live in the moment, happy for whatever attention that comes my way.” When Opal stretched her snout up so she could lick Winnie’s chin, she couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you agreeing with me? I think you are.”

  Opal offered a little grumbling noise, like she had opinions to share and needed Winnie to hear them. Then Panda trundled out of the nest, tail up and round little belly off the ground, and instantly began heading in the wrong direction.

  “Wow, look at you no longer crawling around, Mr. Fast Learner.” Shifting Opal, Winnie managed to snag up the puppy before he went too far afield. “I can’t believe how quickly you’re getting the hang of walking. You’re going to be a lot of trouble, aren’t you?” She nuzzled the top of the puppy’s fuzzy little head with her lips. In turn, Panda couldn’t seem to decide what he wanted more—his mother, who gave him a sniff, or to chew on Winnie’s face. “Yeah, you’re going to be trouble, but that’s okay with me. I promise I’ll do everything I can to make sure you have the best possible life, baby Panda. At least with you, I know I’m safe enough to give you my whole heart.”

  “Lucky Panda.”

  Winnie’s head snapped around at the sound of Des’s voice and found him standing by the stable door. “I thought you were in a hurry to leave.”

  He made a sound of impatience. “Can’t wait to see the back of me?”

  “I… No.” She looked down at the wriggling puppy in her hands and knew she would always think of Des whenever she saw Panda. “I actually wish we had time to talk this out, but I know we don’t. I just want you to know that I don’t have any regrets about… about reaching for what I wanted. Which was you,” she added, trying to smile though it nearly killed her. “I told you that once before, and it still holds true. I’m never going to have any regrets about reaching for you. You were the best thing that ever happened in my life, so I’m always going to be grateful to you.”

  “Stop that whole goodbye shit right there,” he grated, the words pushing past the barrier of his teeth. “We’re nowhere near done, Winsome, you hear me? I say when we’re done, and that’s never going to happen. Understand that now. Never.”

  She frowned as confusion went to war with what she knew were the facts. Why did it sound like he actually gave a damn about her, when she was nothing more than a tool to get what he wanted? “That’s not how this works.”

  “It is if I say it is.”

  “What a Brody thing to say.”

  “Do you want to be done with me? Think before you answer,” he warned as she opened her mouth to do just that. “Everything’s riding on it.”

  “I…” Doubts pushed in on her from all sides, but they couldn’t smother that one unbearably beautiful feeling inside. She loved him. Even when he wanted to expand the Brody empire by using her, that would never change. She loved him with everything she had. “You might not like the answer.”

  “If it’s the truth, I’ll take it no matter what.”

  “It’s like… you’ve become a part of me. Even when that part of me hurts so bad I can’t breathe.
” She swallowed hard and pushed the rest of the painfully weak-willed confession out. “I hate myself for it, but I couldn’t be done with you if I tried.”

  “Don’t try.” Before she knew what he was going to do, he was suddenly down on one knee, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her hard enough to blot out the world. The scent and taste of him filled her senses even as he broke off the kiss to stare down at her, his eyes burning with an emotion so fierce it was all she could see. “And don’t you hate yourself for fighting like hell to believe in me. I love it when you do that. I know life has taught you to expect pain and betrayal from those who are closest to you, but that’s not me. That’s not us. There’s isn’t a second when I’m not thinking about you. I’d tear this goddamn world apart just to give you five seconds of happiness. Think about that, baby girl. Think about what that means.”

  That could have been a description of how she felt about him, but that was because she loved him. More than anything, she wanted to believe he felt like that for the same reason, but life never worked out that way. Not for her. “Maybe I’m nothing more than an embarrassing cliché—a former abused child clinging to an unhealthy relationship because I’m so screwed up I can’t tell the difference between happiness and pain. I never thought my life would be like the crap you’d see on a daytime talk show, because I never believed I was that broken. But here we are.”

  “Most people are broken in some way, Winsome. The way we grew up, there was no avoiding that. But I’m not afraid of how sharp your broken pieces are,” he went on, surprising her. “They fit my broken pieces better than they ever did all on their own. Don’t pretend you don’t know that.”

  She couldn’t keep her head clear while looking into his eyes, so she turned away to rub her cheek against the puppy’s soft fur. “I don’t know anything right now.”

  “Except that Panda is safe enough for you to love.”

  “Last I heard, puppies aren’t big on surveys of Smiley Lake.”

  “Smartass.” Someone called his name, and he looked over his shoulder with a curse. “I don’t know when I’ll be back, so don’t wait up for me, yeah? This storm will blow over, Winsome. And when it does, you and I are going to straighten our shit out once and for all.”

  His name was called again, and with a rough sigh he rose to his full height and headed out of the barn without looking back.

  Chapter Twenty

  As much as Winnie would have liked to have holed up in the barn for all eternity, her stomach began to rumble, while the oppressively humid air made her clothes stick to her skin. With one last cuddle for Panda and a belly rub for Opal, she headed for the main house, glancing up at the overcast skies as she went.

  It didn’t look all that menacing at the moment, but the entire ranch clearly thought otherwise. The stables—a massive building with a fussy little cupola on top of it—had a seemingly endless stream of horses being led out into trailers that were hooked up to the familiar Green Rock Ranch heavy-duty pickup trucks, all of which she was more than happy to give a wide berth. Farther off in the distance, a metallic building that looked more like a hangar for passenger airplanes also had its doors open, and streams of all-terrain vehicles were on the move past a neatly parked tractor that looked bereft as the faster vehicles roared past. Overhead, a small plane circled before seeming to lead the vehicles out toward the west.

  All hands on deck, Brody-style.

  Controlled chaos permeated the atmosphere when Winnie entered the main house, hastily sidestepping a pair of exiting cowhands so she wouldn’t get run over by them. Because it was polite—and because there was no other way to get to the kitchen—she headed into the office area and spied both Celia and Dallas working the phones. Celia saw her and waved but didn’t pause in her conversation, but Dallas held up a hand the moment she made eye-contact with Winnie

  “That’s right, we supply all transportation, plus hazard pay on top of how many cattle you bring in, and it is a twenty-four-hour shift starting at noon. Trick is, you have to be here and ready to go by then, so let’s cut to the chase—yes or no? Terrific, bring as many friends who know how to round up cattle as you can, and we’ll see you at noon. Oh, and don’t forget—wear your all-weather gear.” She hung up and took a breath before looking at Winnie. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m always okay. How can I help?” Guilt swamped her when she saw how busy they were, and she’d been off pouting like a toddler in the barn.

  “You might check on Lilah, who’s lying down in the back bedroom behind the kitchen, and then maybe hit the phones with the rest of us. Luckily we’re almost at our goal of getting a hundred cowhands out there to help bring in the herd. God, listen to me,” she muttered looking heavenward. “I was raised in Houston, a city of six million, and here I am talking about bringing in the fucking herd. I’d laugh if I weren’t so freaked out.”

  Anxiety crept in to sit like a block of ice in the pit of her stomach. “This storm really is that bad?”

  “The bulk of it is still in the Mexican mountains, but once it hits the plains on this side of the border and doesn’t have anything to keep it from building strength, and National Weather Service says it’s like a perfect tornado-maker.”

  “Yikes.”

  “But before the tornadoes hit, we get the typical dry thunderstorm—all the lightning, wind and dust you can shake a stick at.” Dallas grimaced and made a few checks on her list. “Before he left, Killian told me he wouldn’t be surprised if we had a significant amount of acreage go up in smoke. I’m just hoping to God the rains come before that happens.”

  Holy crap. “That explains why you mentioned hazard pay. Did your husband say what he and his brothers are supposed to do if they run into a freaking tornado, or a wildfire, or both out there?”

  “Find a low-lying area and hope for the best. As for the rest of us, we all brought our kids up to the main house because it has a fully decked-out basement with a couple emergency exit points,” she added, waving a vague hand toward the kitchen, where Winnie knew the door to the basement was located. “One of us is running down there every few minutes to make sure they’re good, even though we set up a nanny cam to keep an eye on them. Now, are you sure you’re okay? Kill mentioned you and Des are going through some kind of a thing?”

  “It’s not important.” Suddenly nothing seemed important in the face of possible tornadoes, blinding dust storms and out-of-control fires. Funny how that worked.

  “Ry told me Des straight-up disabled your car right before he left, just to make sure you couldn’t escape.” Celia hung up the phone and dropped into the conversation feet-first, looking thoroughly aggravated. “That was a dick move on his part.”

  Winnie’s mouth tightened. “Won’t argue with that.”

  “They have a habit of pulling crap like that, these Brody brothers,” she went on with a spectacular eyeroll. “Don’t take it personally, hon. Once you realize their social skills are beyond awful, you begin to see that in their weird, totally caveman way, they’re trying to express how much they care.”

  “Killian sold my car out from under me when I had the twins,” Dallas grumbled, still looking salty about the matter. “A classic T-bird, Winnie. He sold my beautiful muscle car T-bird that I bought with my hard-earned money, and gave me a hybrid minivan without even asking me about it. When they’re feeling pressured, every Brody man suddenly becomes blind to any and all boundaries.”

  “Speaking of boundaries, you should know that locked doors don’t do a whole lot of good when a Brody gets it into his head that it’s time for a chat,” Celia added, scrunching her nose. “I had a screen door and an entire doorframe that needed to be replaced early on in our relationship. But not before Ry and his idiot brothers turned the town against me so that Ry could have me all to himself—literally.”

  Dallas arched a brow at Celia. “Did I mention my kidnapping?”

  “Ry stole my car away from me when I started having kids, too, you know. Except he did that becau
se he wanted to drive it for himself.”

  “Ladies, enough.” Appalled, Winnie held up her hands to stop the tide of horror stories. “This isn’t a competition about how crazy your men are, all right? They’re all completely insane, entitled, bulldozing…” Helplessly she groped around for the right word. “Jerks.”

  “I’m going to have to teach you how to swear better than that,” Dallas remarked, picking up the phone once more and began dialing. “There are times when you don’t have any access to wine, so cussing is the one thing that helps in a pinch.”

  Not sure whether she should laugh or cry at what was clearly a pattern of behavior when it came to the Brody mindset, Winnie left the office area and made a beeline for the set of rooms behind the kitchen. She’d noticed the small suite during her explorations of the main house earlier and had assumed it had once been where housekeepers or nannies from generations past had lived. Gently she knocked on the closed door and cracked it open when she heard an affirmative murmur.

  “Lilah, it’s Winnie. Is it all right if I come in?”

  “Sure, Winnie.” Lilah remained curled up on her side on a narrow twin bed, the bedclothes utilitarian and far from the sumptuous trappings of the suites on the second floor. “You don’t mind if I don’t get up, do you? My back is killing me.”

  “Please, stay right where you are. I’m just looking in to see if you need anything.”

  “I’d love it if you could get me my husband so he could give me one of his killer back massages. Other than that, I’m good.”

  “Okay.” Winnie thought about a quick retreat since the other woman probably didn’t want her peace disturbed any more than it already was, but she couldn’t help but hesitate. “You know, I remember my mother once told me that when she went into labor with me, her lower back was where she felt it the most—something about the way I was positioned. Have you ever heard of anything like that?”

  A corner of Lilah’s mouth curled. “Hush, you. I’m not about to let dinky little labor pains be a distraction when my man has to get things done in the next few hours.”